


You and Me Let's Be Incomplete

by Kellex05



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-04-26 06:30:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4993837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kellex05/pseuds/Kellex05
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kelley and Hope have a history scarred by pain and ugliness. But the toxic relationship of their past is one that Hope wants to leave in the past if Kelley isn't too broken.</p><p>Starts right after the SBFC vs. Seattle game in August.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am currently stuck on my Kellex/Talex fic and I also love O'Solo so I thought starting this story along with my Kelley/Alex one will help my writers block. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you guys think! Oh and the title comes from a song off of my O'Solo playlist: Incomplete-James Bay. I will probably be incorporating songs from the playlist through out!

Kelley leaned her head against the cold damp window of the bus and let out a sigh of relief. The game was finally over and she couldn't be more disappointed in her performance. She looked like an idiot out there; her one shot on goal and she practically kicked the ball into Hope's hands.

She watched as her teammates climbed onto the bus hoping that neither Sam or Caitlin would sit with her; the last thing she wanted to do at this moment was pretend to be in a good mood and joke around. Letting out another sigh, this time one of relief, Christie sat down in the seat next to her. The older woman gently took Kelley's hand into her own and squeezed it before letting go, reassuring her in more ways than one. Cap was well aware that Kelley was disappointed with the game but also knew that there was much more racing through the younger woman's head. Sky Blue was very much out of the play offs but the team was attempting to end on a high note. But for Kelley, this game was about much more than pride. Facing the woman who broke your heart more times than Christie could count was never easy.

Sure, Kelley had to face Hope during the World Cup. They were even sort of friendly (if thats what you would like to call Hope pretty much ignoring the young defender 95% of the time.) But that all changed after they won; being drunk and celebrating was never the two women's specialty. Kelley woke up July 6th, 2015, with a head ache like no other, her body only clothed by the white hotel sheet, and a cold bed. Once again Hope had won, she got what she wanted and she ran, leaving Kelley with nothing but an empty bed and a broken heart. 

Trying her best to act like it didn't phase her, Kelley passed her time celebrating their victory with the team and secretly counting down the hours until she could return to New Jersey. She kept her distance from the keeper and the keeper didn't step within 30 ft. of Kelley. It was almost like that night never happened. It wasn't until after the Taylor Swift concert that Kelley, while she was drunk, broke down in the arms of Alex. It was then that she would no longer let whatever captivated her about Hope destroy her. But boy, she was not prepared for how much work that was. Award shows, two victory tour games, and now this NWSL game and Kelley felt absolutely defeated. 

With her eyes closed and her head still pressed against the window, Kelley felt her phone vibrate from within her coat pocket. Shifting in her seat she withdrew the iPhone expecting it to be a message from her mom just reassuring her that she played great and they would get them next season. What she was not expecting was the name  **Hope Solo** to be written across the screen. Her eyes began to burn and she was unsure if it was due to the brightness of her screen contrasting the darkness of the bus or the tears that she was trying to fight against.  **  
**

"You don't have to answer it Kell. I can take your phone and delete the message for you and you will never have to know what she said. But only if you want me to," Christie whispered while once again squeezing Kelley's hand in support.

Kelley cleared her throat and once she knew knew she could speak with out breaking down she handed the phone over to the older woman, "read it first and then you decide what you should do with it." 

Of course Kelley wanted to read the message, it was painful knowing she might not have the chance to if the older woman chose to delete it. She had wanted to text Hope right after she grabbed her hand on the field after the game. With one tiny squeeze, all of Kelley's strength washed away with the rain that was pouring down on them. But she knew that Cap was just trying to protect her and she would make the correct decision. 

Slowly swiping the screen to open the message Christie swallowed hard. She wasn't sure what to expect but after reading the message ten times she was certain that what was written out on the phone was the last thing she imagined Hope to say. 

 **Hope Solo 12:56 am:** I'm leaving him Kell..just thought you deserved to know. 

Kelley carefully studied the older defender's facial expression and knew that whatever Hope had sent had frozen Christie in shock. Without thinking Kelley grabbed the phone from Christie's hand. Cap tried to pull back but was too slow and watched carefully as Kelley read the message. She waited for some sort of reaction but Kelley's hazel eyes remained locked onto the screen.

Finally she handed the phone back to Christie, "Delete it."

Kelley's voice was as emotionless as her face. Cap cautiously took the phone and deleted the message before placing it back into Kelley's hand.

"She doesn't deserve you Kelley. You are an amazingly strong person and I'm so proud of how much you've grown," Christie whispered.

Kelley could hear the anger in the woman's voice and was confused why Christie could feel angry with Hope who was once again playing mind games, while she sat there feeling nothing. She wanted desperately to feel something whether it be fury or sadness she didn't care. But instead her body settled with emptiness which only made Kelley furious at herself.

She watched as their bus pulled into the hotel parking lot and couldn't be more thankful. Picking up all of her belongings she walked slowly to her room, dragging her feet with every step. 

"O'Hara!" Sky Blue's coach yelled to her just as she was about to enter the elevator.

"Whats up coach?" Kelley questioned. Her coach could sense the irritation in her voice.

"Listen, you played well tonight kid, stop being so hard on yourself. We've had this talk before and you know everything can't always go our way," Coach Gabarra chuckled. "Anyways, I was just notified theres something waiting for you at the front desk I'm not sure what a letter, message, I didn't really ask but I was told to tell you. Get a good nights rest kid, we still have one more game ahead of us!" Coach smiled as he took the elevator she had called for herself. 

Shrugging her shoulders Kelley turned back down the hall towards the front desk. She wasn't expecting something but it was probably a care package from her mom. Karen O'Hara always knew exactly when her middle child was feeling home sick,  _"mother's instinct"_ she always said. She picked up her pace and smiled for the first time tonight, her mom's homemade cookies always made her feel better and she could definitely use them right now.  _  
_

Kelley turned the corner and her smile dropped along with her stomach and all of her soccer gear. Hope was sitting in a chair by the front desk fiddling with something in her lap. Kelley quickly tried to pick her stuff up from the floor cursing at herself under her breath. She prayed that she could escape with out being seen but when she looked up she knew she was screwed.

Hope, who had been startled from the sound of something falling, was already half way over to the smaller woman. Watching Kelley crouched down as she gathered her things, she took in how small and vulnerable she looked in this position. Locking her icy blue eyes with hazel ones, the older woman's heart started to race.  She slowly bent down to help but Kelley shot up and and crossed her arms across her chest defensively.

"Why are you here?" Kelley mumbled trying her best to remain strong.

Hope took a step towards the smaller woman. Her blue eyes still locked with hazel ones, "We need to talk and since you didn't respond to my text message this was my only other choice."

"What? Me ignoring your message wasn't obvious enough for you. I don't want to do this Solo," Kelley scoffed in disbelief. Turning her back towards the keeper she began walking towards the elevator. But before Kelley could even take 3 steps Hope's hand was firmly grasping her shoulder pulling her back. 

"Listen Kell, just five minutes. Please." Hope watched as Kelley flinched at the sound of her nickname; a nickname that many people used but when it came to Hope, "Kell" meant so much more. The name was a symbol of their past and overflowed with the history of what was and what could have been. She watched as the freckles on Kelley's nose scrunched up as she contemplated her answer.

"Fine, five minutes and no longer. And I'm not kidding Hope I will be watching the time," Kelley finally answered. She nervously pushed her hair back and felt her palms become clammy. She didn't want to regret this decision but when it came to the tall, dark, and twisty woman, regret was always the result. 

Ushering Kelley into an open conference room, Hope smiled and let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding in. She knew she would need longer than five minutes but to even get the freckled face defender to agree was a small enough victory for Hope to feel a small sense of relief.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received some requests to not make this end sadly like a lot of O'Solo fics and trust me thats not my plan. It won't be pretty though especially in the beginning but stick with me. I used some of the lyrics from All I Want by Kodaline as part of the dialog. Anyways, let me know what you think!

**Flashback: CONCACAF Tournament January 28, 2012**

"Listen dude, she's really not as scary as she seems once you get to know her," Alex reassured her best friend as she watched her pace back and forth in their room.

"Not as scary? NOT AS SCARY?! Earth to Alex have you not been present at practice recently?! We're talking about _the_ Hope solo here!" Kelley yelled in disbelief and frustration. Her stomach was in knots and no matter how hard she tried, the knots became tighter and tighter as her nerves settled in.

Nervousness was a feeling Kelley's body was all too familiar with lately. Ever since Pia decided to place her on the defensive line after Ali's injury, nervousness had moved itself into the small newly crowned defender. Unwelcomed, uninvited. It was like that friend that over stayed their welcome after a sleep over and no matter how hard she tried to fight it off, it was evident that it wasn't leaving anytime soon. Poorly timed tackles and being beaten by her attacker became a constant in her play. And with every mistake she made, Hope was sure to let her know. Kelley grew more and more terrified of the goalkeeper and her new position every time she made a mistake. Hope screaming at her became her greatest fear and even hearing her speak the other day in breakfast made her lose her appetite.

When Barnie approached her earlier in the night informing her that Hope requested to see her at 7:45 and to "make sure you're not late" it took all her might not empty the contents of her stomach onto the other keeper's shoes. As if she wasn't stressed enough about playing Canada the following night now she had to worry about facing  _the_ Hope Solo. 

Kelley continued to pace as she rubbed her hands together. She had spent the last two hours trying to remember every mistake she had made during practice, trying to figure out what exactly Hope would be screaming at her for. She watched as the clock went from two hours, to one, to now seeing she only had 15 minutes left. 

Alex lifted herself off of her bed and walked over to the smaller woman, firmly grabbing onto her shoulders to stop her from pacing as well as rubbing her her hands down to nubs. Alex was aware of Hope's questionable behavior in practice. She knew the transition was not going well at all for her best friend and it pained her to watch Kelley be so hard on herself.

"Kelley, you have to go. I promise I'll be here for you when you get back. "I'll even watch an episode of Glee with you." Alex squeezed her friend's shoulders as a sign of encouragement before ushering her towards the door. 

Before the door could slam shut behind her Kelley grabbed it, "Two episodes Alex. Two!" 

Taking a deep breath she turned down the hall way and began to trudge slowly towards Carli and Hope's room. Her hands were shaking as she raised her right arm and softly knocked on the door. No one answered.  _Hmm maybe she's not here._

Suddenly the door swung open startling Kelley.

"Hey O'Hara, Hopes in there studying for tomorrow's game. I'll be back later," Carli smiled as she pushed her way around the now frozen woman in front of her. 

Swallowing hard, Kelley musters up her last ounce of courage entering the room.

Hope was seated in her bed, sheets of paper scattered out in front of her. She briefly looked up at the new defender and quickly returned her gaze back to her notes. "If we score, we might win. If they never score, we can't lose. Can you tell me who said this O'Hara?" Hope waited for an answer but instead was met with only silence. "No answer, why am I not surprised? It was our very own Christie Rampone," She sneered. "Have a seat rookie." 

Quickly taking a seat at the edge of the older woman's bed, Kelley watched as Hope continued to sift through the papers. She knew the answer, how could she not? But her voice betrayed her, leaving her vulnerable. Biting the inside of her cheek to try and fight against the tears gathering she waited for her death sentence.

When Hope finally looked up her icy blue eyes were met with hazel and immediately was met with a sudden wave of guilt as she saw the pools of tears grow. Hope knew how it was to be a rookie and was all too familiar with the intimidation and bullying from the veterans. She knew that pain very well and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause behind it. 

Leaning forward to grab Kelley's hand, which was firmly grasping the edge of the bed causing her knuckles to turn white, Hope signed, "Listen, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting recently in practice. I have been extremely hard on you and I realize that. Its not easy to do what you're having to do, going from attack to defense in such a short period of time. I know I haven't made it easy or made it known but you're doing a great job out there." 

Hope waited for a response but Kelley remained quiet. Squeezing her hand Hope continued, "I asked Barnie to send you here because I think with my help and your hard work and determination you can become important role to our team. Taking on the role you have in place of Krieger proves to me that you have it in you, I believe in you. So what do you say?" 

Kelley was shocked at what she had just heard and all she could do was smile and nod in agreement. Hope laughed as she realized this was the quietest she had ever seen O'Hara. Typically you could never get the kid to shut up. Before starting her defensive crash course she motioned to a black bag sitting across the room.

"If I tell you a secret, you promise not to tell anyone?"

Kelley could sense the mischievous tone of Hope's voice and finally broke her silence, "I promise" she squeaked out.

"There is a family sized bag of m&m's in there, I hide it from Carli because she can be such a stickler about Dawn's rules. But if I can trust you not to tell I will share with you. It can be like a reward for your hard work."

Hope watched as Kelley's hazel eyes lit up as she darted across the room to grab the candy and she couldn't help but enjoy the innocent, childish spirit that quickly filled the room.

-

-

After two hours and a half a bag of m&m's, Hope watched Kelley's yawns grow more and more frequent. She laughed as Kelley was reading one of her note sheets, her hazel eyes drooping as she fought off sleep and decided it was time to call it a night. 

"Alright O'Hara time for bed. I know tomorrow is not going to be an easy game but it should be good practice for you to prove to not only Pia and me what you got but yourself as well," Hope said as she walked Kelley to the door. 

"Thank you so much, I won't let you down. Good night Solo." 

At the sound of Kelley's sleepy voice, Hope felt a tightness in her chest and smile spread across her face. "Good night Kell." 

When the door finally shut Kelley remained frozen in the hall letting a feeling of warmth wash over her. " _Kell."_ Hope had never referred to her as anything other than "Rookie" or "O'Hara" and once in a while "Kid." As Kelley walked back to her room, a wide goofy grin plastered on her face, she knew that her friendship with Hope was going to be life changing.

* * *

 

**Present**

As the door to the conference room opened a cool breeze escaped causing a shiver to rush over Kelley's body. She was unsure if it was due to the overpowering air conditioner or due to Hope's hand pressing into her lower back. Either way she mentally cursed herself.

She slid herself away from Hope's touch and watched carefully as Hope pulled the black leather chair at the head of the conference table back and settled herself into it. It took Kelley a minute to decide where to sit. The room was already beginning to feel small and suffocating so she chose to sit at the opposite end closest to the door. This gave her room to breath and a chance to escape. 

Hope finally took in the woman sitting in front of her. The summer had done Kelley good, her natural highlights were shining through in shades of gold, honey, and chestnut. Her face was now covered in freckles, little brown spots left behind from the kiss of the sun. Hope didn't know she could envy a celestial object as much as she did right now. 

Forcing Hope back to focus, Kelley slammed her phone down on the table, "Better start speaking Solo, your five minutes start now." 

The tone of her voice was cold and now it was Hope's turn to shiver. The older woman's mind began to race trying to figure out where to begin. She didn't want to fuck up not thinking through what she said first. A flaw that cursed Hope and Kelley.  She finally settled with starting off easy, "How are you Kell?" 

Laughter filled the room as Kelley finally looked at the woman, darkness filling her eyes. "We both know that you didn't come here to check up on me. Cut the bull shit Hope and get to the point," she sneered.

Each word was like a dagger being thrown at full speed towards Hope's chest. She felt as each word stabbed deeper and deeper. This woman sitting in front of her wasn't Kelley or was it? Is this what happens when you allow Hope Solo to crush you and drain you of your innocence? Did she cause Kelley to become dark and twisted? As question after question popped into Hope's head she began to regret her poorly executed decision. She had come here wearing her heart on her sleeve but now she realized that maybe Kelley and her were too broken to even fix.

Kelley watched as Hope struggle with what to say. Ashamed of her behavior, she knew that she had to do something before the walls that she had fought so hard to break down began to rebuild themselves right before her eyes. Getting up from her chair she moved closer to the older woman. Being this close to her Kelley now saw how the stress of life had engraved its way on Hope's face. There were deep purple bags under her eyes, gray hairs were mixed in with black, and the little wrinkles near her eyes were slightly deeper than the last time she was this close to her face. Without realizing what she was doing, Kelley's small hand reached up and brushed the wrinkles trying to familiarize herself once again.

"I hope you know I left him because I love you," Hope whispered. Kelley quickly retracted her hand but her face remained soft. 

"If you loved me, then why'd you leave me?" Kelley's voice cracked. Her eyes began to fill with tears but a pained smile remained on her face. Before Hope could respond, Kelley continued "when you said your last goodbye, I died a little more inside. I would lay in bed in tears at night with out you by my side." 

Tears were now rolling down, streaking across Kelley's freckled face. They pooled at her jaw line as Hope reached up and gently wiped them away unaware that her own tears were beginning to stream down her face. "You know kid, you brought out the best of me, a part of me no one has ever seen. You took my soul and wiped it clean. You made me someone I couldn't recognize and it scared me. Loving you scared me." 

Not being able to hold back any longer Kelley lunged forward bringing Hope into a tight embrace. They stayed this way for a while, crying into each other's shoulders quietly. An occasional sob would escape one of their bodies and echo throughout the room. 

Hope gently grasped Kelley's chin in her hand and raised it up so her eyes were now locked on with the small defender's. She brushed away stray tears and the hair that was now stuck to the wetness of Kelley's cheeks. 

Every time Hope's left hand swiped her cheek Kelley felt the coldness of the metal ring still wrapped around her finger and every time she winced a little but ignored it. _Maybe she forgot to take it off._ But when Hope grabbed her chin again now guiding her head upwards in preparation for a kiss the metal band was pushed against her skin. Burning her. Branding a reminder that she wasn't Hope's first choice. 

That is why when the conference door flung open and slammed into the opposite wall, revealing a very frustrated Christie, Kelley could not have been more thankful. "Next time you want to play this game, take the ring off first," she whispered quietly enough for only Hope to hear.

Before Hope could even respond or defend herself Kelley gathered her things and ran out the door. Cap murmured something and shook her head before shutting the door, leaving Hope alone once again. 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

The drive from the hotel back to Hope's home takes about 35 minutes, but for Hope it felt like it was an eternity. The rain was pouring down outside now, just like her tears, and both showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. Trying to drown out her misery Hope switched the radio on and quickly regretted it. Every song that was playing reminded her of Kelley: On one station, some Taylor Swift song bringing her mind back to their last victory tour game. Kelley was dancing and obnoxiously shouting the words with Alex, both girls giggling so hard they couldn't breath. On another station, Fight Song. An anthem that Kelley religiously listened to before every game during the World Cup. Now the car was silent, except for the pitter patter of the rain and an occasional sniffle here and there as she drove further and further away from the city. 

In the passenger seat next to Hope, sat her wedding ring that she had forced from her finger earlier and chucked at the windshield before it landed in its final resting spot. Now as she drove she could see it from the corner of eye glimmering as the lights from outside shined their way through the window. It was teasing her, reminding her that everything she touches breaks. Broken marriage. Broken Kelley. 

As she pulled into her driveway and shut her car off, Hope sank lower into her seat and exhaled deeply. She allowed her mind to wander back to the hotel conference room, back to the pain on Kelley's face and interlaced within every word _"Next time you want to play this game, take the ring off first."_ Hope didn't mean to leave her wedding ring on and in all honesty she had forgotten all about it after wearing it for 3 years. But it didn't matter now, the damage was done and there was no redo's or second chances left. 

"Jesus fucking Christ, Hope you fuck everything up, EVERYTHING," the goalkeeper shouted as she slammed her fists once, twice, three times on the steering wheel in front of her before laying her forehead to rest upon it. Her body convulsed as sobs escaped her throat and echoed throughout the car. She allowed herself to breakdown, " _To feel is to heal,"_ her psychiatrist's voice echoed in her head. She cringed at the thought but couldn't help herself as the tears remained steadily streaming down her face. 

When her eyes finally ran dry, not a single tear left within her and her eyes began to feel heavy and tiredness replaced sadness she decided it was time to go inside. Her house was empty and quiet. Too quiet.  _Is this something I'm going to have to get used to?_ She feared as she set her belongings down on the kitchen counter. No dogs, she wasn't home enough to care for them so Jerramy decided it was best if he took them. No friends, she didn't have time for anyone outside of soccer. No family, she abandoned that a while ago. No one, just Hope and a huge empty house. 

It was late now, the clock on the stove flashed 3:42 a.m. but who knows how accurate that was. Hope was never the type of person to make sure all of the clocks in the house stated the correct time. It was one of Kelley's pet peeves when she would visit; she would secretly go around setting the time while Hope followed doing the opposite. _But no more of that now_ , Hope thought as she pulled out her phone and dialed in the correct numbers into the stove clock. 

Placing the phone down on the counter, Hope decided that a glass of wine before bed was definitely needed. She quickly grabbed an unopened bottle, a corkscrew, and wine glass before settling onto a barstool. As she began opening the bottle her phone lit up the dark kitchen and buzzed across the counter. She quickly removed the cork and reached for her phone to check who could be calling her so late at night. As her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the screen she froze.  **Kelley O'Hara.** She blinked a few times to make sure her eyes were not betraying her and before she swiped to answer she placed the glass bottle to her lips and took not one but two huge gulps of the bitter wine. 

"Hello," Hope's voice cracked. She waited but the younger woman didn't say anything. Instead all she was met with was heavy, uneven breathing clear evidence that Kelley was still crying. "Kell, can you please say something?" She pleaded.

"I need to move on, I need to get over you. When I leave this place behind tomorrow, I need to leave you behind too. And I need you to let me do that."

Before Hope could respond the line went dead. Before the older woman could register what she was doing she took the wine bottle and threw it against the wall smashing it red wine and glass exploding everywhere. It was the only way to portray what Kelley's words had done to Hope's heart. And as she lay on the kitchen floor just as broken as the bottle next to her she knew she couldn't let Kelley leave. She wouldn't let her leave. 

-

-

Seattle's airport was a nightmare. Children crying, some old lady arguing with security because her bottle of vodka couldn't go through her carry on, and lack of check-in staff made an already irritated Kelley even more irritated. So when Kelley's team was informed that their flight was delayed for an indefinite amount of time due to rain it was no surprise that her and a few other teammates chose the bar to wait it out. A few mix drinks and shots later irritation was last thing on the girl's minds. 

"Listen I'll take another shot of tequila only if you're the one buying," Caitlin giggled as she nudged Kelley's side. 

"Caitlin you're not even 21 yet! Don't corrupt the youth Kev, don't corrupt!" Sam shouted from across the booth. 

Kelley laughed as she watched the two women bicker back and fourth. She could feel her cheeks becoming hot as the alcohol started to course it's way though her body and couldn't be more thankful for her company. Her Aussie friends always knew how to cheer her up and definitely knew how to have a good time. 

"Like that's ever stopped me before! Plus thats what this id is for," the lighter hair defender said as she flashed the card up towards her face. A wide grin spread across her face as she motioned between the photo on the id and her. "Basically twins," she said proudly.

Kelley looked at the photo on the id. The other woman had darker hair, brown eyes, and was slightly bigger than Caitlin. She busted out laughing, "Yeah? Well if thats the case then Sam and I are "basically twins." Right Sam?" 

The other Aussie was laughing so hard she couldn't respond and quickly shook her head yes. Caitlin stuck her lower lip out and began to pout just causing her two friends to laugh even more. Finally after gaining some composure Kelley waved a waitress over and ordered more drinks. 

"One more round of shots please and three blue moons please?" she quickly ordered. The waitress smiled and nodded and walked away, back towards the bar. 

As they waited for their drinks Kelley pulled out her phone to take a quick scan through social media. Not thinking she would notice, her two friends began whispering to each other and every once in a while would motion towards her. Closing her phone she looked up, "is there something you would like to ask me?" 

Before the two women could answer the waitress returned and started setting the drinks out onto the table. "Oh no the drinks are on me Miss O'Hara," she winked as she pushed Kelley's credit card back into her hand along with a slip of paper and walked away. 

Sam snagged the paper out of her hand and read it out loud in her best American accent, "If your flight is delayed over night and are down for a good time in Seattle don't hesitate to call 206-766-5555! My shift gets out at 7 xo Mel," she paused and then continued this time with a mischievous grin "Oh Miss O'Hara, what do you think Mel stands for Melissa or Melanie?"

A crimson color quickly tinted Kelley as she tried to rip the piece of paper out of her friend's hand. "Give that here! And don't try to change the subject what were you guys talking about?!" She shouted clearly flustered as she almost knocked over two of the beers.   

Caitlin's face turned a very pale color as she realized they were caught. She began stammering trying to figure out what to say causing Sam to slap a hand over her mouth. "Okay Kev, what this fool is trying to get out but is struggling to do so," Sam began as Caitlin shot her a dirty look. "We were curious on how you were holding up after last night's game?" 

"Well it was tough loss, the weather sucked, I played horribly," Kelley rambled but was quickly cut off.

"Not what we are referring to Miss O'Hara," Caitlin said as she took a sip of her beer. 

Fully aware of what they were referring to, it was now Kelley's turn to try and change the subject, "Oh you mean how it's one game closer before my two lovely kangas have to leave me? Don't worry I won't miss you guys too much, I promise. Now how about we take these shots? Cheers to two kangas and a kev!" Kelley raised her shot glass but was met with nothing but looks of concern. 

Not wanting to make the moment anymore awkward, Sam raised her shot glass and nudged the other closer towards Caitlin, "Cheers to that" She shouted and all 3 of the women threw back their head and cringed at the taste. "God Kev, I will never understand why you like tequila so much."

-

-

Three hours later and the announcement of a confirmed extra night in Seattle meant a very drunk Kelley, Sam, and Caitlin still sitting in the airport bar. The waitress Mel, which they learned after two more shots was short for Melanie, was now seated with them. Her and Kelley were seated on one side as the other two women sat on the other. They were all listening to Melanie as she told them horror stories of being a waitress at an airport bar. 

Kelley watched her as she acted out the story, taking her in. She quickly noted that she wasn't bad looking at all. She had long dark brown hair that fell in waves across her back. Melanie's eyes were a hazel color almost similar to her own but had more green speckles through out. They lit up along with her smile as she talked. She was petite and had very tan skin which she attributed to being half Puerto Rican when Sam (who has no filter) asked her. No, not bad looking at all.  _Actually quite attractive_ Kelley thought to herself as she watched the waitress wink at her again.

Time was dwindling and the bar was do to close very shortly. Melanie leaned closer and wrapped her arm around Kelley's shoulders. She whispered into Kelley's ear, "There's a bar across the street if you and your friends would like to join me?" 

Quickly shaking her head yes, Kelley turned to her two friends, "Yo kangas, wanna go next door to another bar?" she slurred out. But instead of responding they stared straight ahead. Both of their faces looked like they saw a ghost. "Earth to my friends?" She waved her hand in front of their faces.

"Kell uhh turn around," Sam finally broke out of her trance and whispered. 

Kelley and Melanie turned their heads to see exactly what their friends were staring at. In the doorway stood Hope and her eyes were locked on the sight of Kelley with another girl. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you enjoy the update. Let me know if you have any critiques or suggestions. Thanks!

Blinking her eyes a few times and then rubbing them did not make the sight of Hope go away. In fact, every time she blinked the raven haired woman got closer to the table and by the time she was done rubbing her eyes Kelley estimated she had one minute to compose herself.

Quickly gathering the last round of shots Sam had just purchased, Kelley poured them into a glass and turned towards her friends, "Sorry guys I'm not drunk enough for this," she muttered.

Tilting her head back and closing her eyes, she allowed the liquid courage to slide down her throat and slammed the glass back down grimacing.

Her eyes remained unopened but she knew Hope was now standing right next to her. Kelley could recognize the perfume from a mile away, a mixture of warm honey and vanilla.

It was the scent that used to lull her to bed as her head rested on the keeper's chest, Hope's heart beat became her lullaby.

It was the scent that could wake her up from the deepest of sleeps, as Hope would kiss her freckles one by one playing connect the dots. 

But it was also the scent that haunted her after their break, washing her laundry four times and yet Kelley swore the smell still lingered on her sheets. 

* * *

 

***Flashback- April 2nd, 2012 Japan***

_"O'Hara what are you doing?" Hope questioned her newly assigned roommate as she looked up from her book._

_It was raining outside their hotel and being cooped in a hotel was not an ideal situation for someone with so much energy. Crossword puzzles, movies, even coloring couldn't suppress the boredom that had manifested itself inside Kelley's small body._

_It didn't help that in her personal opinion Hope was the most boring roommate to have. "All she ever does is read and study her notes" she complained earlier to Alex who had lucked out on the roommate assignment and scored Syd._

_Slowly turning around Kelley looked at Hope, "Oh nothing," she innocently smiled as she pulled on the keeper's oversized cardigan._

_Hope clenched her jaw, "if you consider going through my luggage "nothing" then you have a strange definition for that word. Now are you going to explain yourself or what?"_

_Kelley could tell Hope was trying to intimidate her and started laughing. The "big and scary" goalkeeper act no longer worked on the young defender who quickly learned that deep down inside Hope was big softy._

_"What's so funny O'Hara?" Hope asked growing frustrated which just caused Kelley to laugh even harder._

_Hope watched as Kelley sat on the ground trying to compose herself, she looked like a small child swimming in Hope's sweater. Hope couldn't help but notice how pretty, no beautiful, the girl was. Her hair was pulled into a wild bun hair sticking out everywhere, her eyes grew bright with laughter and her smile was contagious. But what caught Hope's attention the most was the freckles that were splashed across Kelley's face. They were like perfectly placed imperfections scattered like stars in the night sky._

_Finally able to control herself Kelley realized that Hope was staring at her smiling._

_"What do I have something on my face?" Kelley questioned as she wiped at her cheeks with the sleeves of the sweater._

_Hope laughed as she pushed the thoughts out her head. "No, well yes but no. Why haven't I ever noticed your freckles squirrel?," she chuckled._

_"What do you mean you haven't noticed my freckles? They're literally permanent stains on my skin. Whats so special about them today that you finally notice them? And who says you can call me squirrel? That nickname is a privilege only allowed for people who deserve to use it," Kelley sassed._

_"Being your roommate makes me more than deserving enough to call you squirrel, trust me. And I will tell you whats so special about them if you tell me why you were going through my things...Squirrel," Hope teased the defender._

_Getting off the floor, Kelley climbed up onto Hope's bed taking the open spot next to her. She studied Hope carefully to make sure it was okay and relaxed when the keeper moved over and handed her an extra pillow to lean against._

_"Okay O'Hara spill,' Hope said as she poked Kelley's side. She watched as Kelley took the extra pillow and used it to cover her face before mumbling her answer. "Kelley I can't hear you now move that pillow from out of your face and repeat what you just said," she demanded._

_But Kelley just shook her head and firmly held the pillow in place too embarrassed to move it._

_"Fine then we'll do this the hard way," Hope warned._

_Before Kelley could even question what she meant, Hope was straddling her hips and tickling her sides. Kelley squealed in laughter and let go of the pillow allowing Hope to grab it and throw it to the other bed._

_"Now will you tell me what you said?" Hope asked raising an eyebrow._

_"I said I like the smell of your perfume. So I wanted to find out what kind you use but didn't want to bother you by asking," Kelley confessed as her cheeks grew red from embarrassment. Her heart was racing as she stared up at the older woman sitting on top of her. They locked eyes as a smirk came across Hope's face and her eyes grew dark._

_"Oh you do, do you?" Hope teased as she leaned down placing her hands on either side of Kelley's head. She placed her mouth next to Kelley's ear and whispered, "would you like to know whats so special about those freckles now?"_

_Not being able to respond all Kelley could do was nod her head yes. Hope's perfume overwhelmed her the closer she got and the slight brush of her lips against her ear sent a shiver down her spine._

_ Leaning in closer Hope continued, "I think they're hot."  _

_ "TEAM MEETING IN 10!" _

_ A voice yelled as someone pounded on the door causing Hope to jump. She quickly rolled off of the small defender and grabbed her things. Before heading out the door she looked back at Kelley who was frozen on the bed. _

_ "Pull yourself together O'Hara, you don't want to be late," she smirked at the younger woman before heading out the door.  _

* * *

Jumping as Sam kicked her shin underneath the table, Kelley opened her eyes and forced a smile, "Well isn't this a pleasant surprise?" 

Hope could tell Kelley was drunk as her speech slurred and knew if she wanted this situation to end well she would have to choose her words wisely. But the sight of another woman's arm wrapped around Kelley, their thighs brushing together made Hope feel sick. She swallowed the bitter taste that crept it's way into her mouth and shot a quick glare at the tan woman next to Kelley. _  
_

"Can we talk Kell?" Hope asked as she returned her eyes back to Kelley. "Please," she pleaded.

She wasn't sure if it was due to the alcohol coursing its way through her veins, the sound of Hope's voice as she spoke that last word, or the look on her face both vulnerable and unguarded regardless Kelley agreed. She shook her head and excused herself from the table. She glanced at her teammates and then turned toward Melanie offering an "I'm sorry" sort of smile before she grabbed Hope's hand and guided her toward a different table. 

Shocked at how easy it was to convince her Hope's mind went blank as they sat down. She had rehearsed over and over again in the car ride here. She went through every scenario possible ranging from the good to the bad but as she opened her mouth to speak nothing came out. She looked like a fish out of water, gasping for air and quite frankly that was exactly how she felt as she stared into Kelley's hazel eyes. 

"We can't keep doing this Hope. Its just not fair," Kelley sighed.

She had a small sad smile across her face and Hope could feel the heaviness in the words as Kelley's voice trembled. 

"But we can't end things this way either," Hope whispered as she looked down at that hand that was still holding on so tightly to Kelley's. 

A small laugh escaped Kelley, "But Hope everything ended a while ago when you chose him over me. You chose to end things then and anything that has happened in between now and when you said "I do", well that was me being in denial. But what happened after the world cup, you left before the sun even could even peak its way through, before it could warm the place that you abandoned," Kelley felt herself losing her strength as tears began to form in her eyes.

She swallowed hard and took a deep breath before continuing. "I just can't keep being your second choice Hope, I need to move on." 

A single tear escaped from Hope's eyes and slowly rolled down her cheek before she wiped it away. She knew Kelley was right even if it pained her to admit it. In the past she was her second choice but it wasn't like that anymore. It may have take Hope 3 years and a broken marriage to realize this but no matter what she loved Kelley and never stopped loving her after all of this time.

She loved the way her hair looked in the morning, fly aways galore framed her face as she would yawn and stretch before sheepishly asking for breakfast in bed.

She loved how she pouted after losing a card game or a bet. She would sit quietly, sighing every once in a while until Hope caved in and promised to play again.

She loved when Kelley and her would get into tiny arguments. Kelley's Irish temper flaring as swear words flew out from her mouth. 

But what she loved most was watching her sleep. She would spend hours counting and memorizing her freckles never knowing when or if she would be able to see them again. 

"Please Kell, just come home with me. One night is all I ask from you even if I don't deserve it and tomorrow I will bring you right to the airport for your flight," Hope begged.

Taking a moment to think, Kelley sat back in her chair and removed her hand from the keeper's grasp. She wanted to say no, she wanted to be angry at Hope for even asking. But no matter how hard she tried she couldn't. She could never say no to her. 

"Okay, one night," she shook her head as she spoke.

She gathered her things and told Sam and Caitlin she was leaving with Hope and mumbled a quick goodbye to Melanie. They gave her a concerned look but let her go after she promised everything was okay. 

"You ready Kell?" Hope asked placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. 

Kelley nodded unable to speak and slowly started to regret her decision with every step she took out of the airport.  

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! My work load at school has picked up and I haven't had the chance to update. This isn't that great but I thought it at least should tie you guys over. I promise now that break is coming up I will try to update more frequently. Thank you!

"I'm going to grab a bottle of wine from the kitchen if you want to get settled in the living room. You remember where everything is right?" Hope asked as she kicked her shoes off and placed her car keys on the hook next to the front door.

 

When she was met with no answer she was not surprised; Kelley hadn't spoken since they left the airport making the car ride painfully awkward. Glancing over her shoulder at the younger woman who was nodding in response, Hope sighed before disappearing into the kitchen.

 

Once Hope was gone, Kelley inhaled deeply and let it out to calm her nerves. Did she remember where everything was? 

Sure, she had been to Hope's multiple times in the past; she even had a key at one point. Everything still looked the same and the scent of cinnamon and coffee still lingered in the air just as it did once before. But Kelley's confidence faltered at the thought of change.

 

Did Hope still keep her favorite coffee mug in the cupboard above the dishwasher? The one that her grandmother had given her after she won the 2008 Olympics, a picture of the two women scanned onto the white ceramic cup.

 

What about the tan wool slippers that Hope insisted she needed from LL Bean? Did they still sit next to the fireplace, collecting dust after only being worn once?

 

Does the bookshelf in Hope's bedroom still display a photo of what Hope considered "the happiest moment of her life"? A photo of Kelley and her hugging after winning the Olympics, whispering secret sweet nothings, oblivious to the world.

 

As she walked down the hall and towards the living room she could sense that yes, it was still the same house but something was different.

 

Something had changed.

It was no longer the place she had once known.

The place that kept their secret of falling asleep watching the sunrise, her bare back pressed against Hope's warm skin. 

Or the secret of their last night together within these four walls, the night Hope ended things.

 

That was a different time and just like the key that's now lost in the back of Kelley's closet, it was a forgotten time. The house held new memories now that belonged to Hope and Jerramy. 

And when she sat upon the couch and saw Hope's coffee mug sitting cold and forgotten on the coffee table and her eyes fell on the sight of the wool slippers still in the same spot as they were three years ago, Kelley thought it would bring a sense of relief. Instead it caused the exact opposite.

 

"I hope white is fine," Hope announced softly as she rushed into the room.  

She was struggling to juggle the bottle of wine and the two glasses but was met with a sense of relief and shock when Kelley jumped from the couch to help her. The two women were now standing within inches of each other and when Kelleys fingers grazed Hope's arm as she reached for the bottle of wine a shiver went down Hope's spine.

 

 

Realizing how uncomfortably close they were, Kelley stumbled backwards and mumbled something incoherent. Her fingers were still tingling from their contact with Hope's skin as she rubbed them along her jeans trying to rid herself of the feeling. She watched as Hope uncorked the bottle and filled the two glasses before taking a seat on the rocking chair across from her. She looked tired. Kelley noticed that her eye's were slightly swollen and wondered if she had been crying in the kitchen. Her long black her was pulled back into a loose pony tail and she had thrown on her favorite University of Washington sweatshirt. The same sweatshirt Kelley had held captive during their time together, only returning it after Alex convinced her.

 

"I see that you got my package," Kelley broke her silence as she motioned to Hope's sweatshirt.

 

Hope looked down and whispered a few choice swear words to herself when she noticed what she was wearing; she had pulled it on without even thinking about it.

"Oh Kell I didn't even..." she began to say. 

Kelley threw her hand in the air to stop her and smiled, "Hope its fine..honestly." She took a sip from her wine and continued, "So it's getting late and I have an early flight tomorrow so we probably should get this talk going."

Kelley's voice was so nonchalant, and she tried her best to keep her smile from faltering but inside was a different story. Her mouth had gone dry and she felt her stomach churn as it began to fill itself with nerves. She took another sip of her wine hoping it would help but it ended up making it worse.

 

Hope could tell by the twitching of Kelley's nose that she was nervous. It was a subconscious habit that Hope used to tease the young defender about which resulted in Kelley making fun of her jaw-clench tick. Both women tried to break their habits and failed miserably. Well actually only Hope failed, Kelley increased her habit after being told by the keeper that her nose twitching made her even cuter than she already was.

 

"Earth to Solo, COME IN SOLO!"

 

Shaking her head, Hope regained her focus, "Huh did you say something?"

 

"Yes like 6 times," Kelley chuckled but then became serious once again. "So, you left him..Is it for real this time or?" Her voice drifted off as she was reminded of the few times in the past that she had heard this same news, each time it ended with Hope going back to him.

 

"It's real this time Kell," Hope said trying to convey her seriousness through the tone of her voice. But she knew Kelley wasn't foolish so she continued, "you were right all along, he wasn't good for me. Our relationship was toxic and I knew that but it was too hard to admit plus I just hated the idea of being alone in this huge house. I convinced myself that being alone with my own thoughts was far worse than what was going on between Jerramy and me."

 

Kelley listened to Hope speak, her eyes welling up. "You never had to be alone Hope, I was here. You had me but you chose him. You chose to let your demons win time and time again and you dragged me along, you destroyed me," her voice cracked and she tried her best to keep the tears from falling but knew it was impossible as they began to stream down her face.

 

Watching Kelley fall apart in front of her was painful for Hope. She was always well aware of just what her carelessness had done to Kelley but as she saw the tears fall Hope realized how much damage she actually did. She wanted to take Kelley's small body into her arms and never let her go but she restrained herself and instead watched helplessly. She reached over to the end table and grabbed the box of tissues "I never stopped loving you Kell. No matter how hard I tried to lie to myself I couldn't," she said softly as she handed them over.

 

Kelley plucked a few of the tissues from the box and wiped her tears away. They sat in silence as Hope gave Kelley time to collect herself hoping for her confession to have a positive result. But instead when Kelley was finally ready to speak, her response was not what the goal keeper was expecting.

 

"That's funny Hope, truly funny," Kelley scoffed. "I was not good enough for you so you had to convince yourself to stop loving me. You chose someone who almost ended your career because why Hope? It was too embarrassing to admit you fell in love with Kelley O'Hara? Or was admitting to loving a woman too much of a threat to your image? God, why did I even agree to come here in the first place?"

 

Hope tried to interject but remained frozen in shock. Kelley began to search for a taxi number on her phone and when Hope watched her walk out the door she began to question if she truly lost her for good.


End file.
